Negotiation is the process of communicating wants and desires between one person to another to reach the ultimate goal of getting what the person, company, government or country wants. It doesn’t matter whether it’s on the small scale of just getting it for one person or a whole nation, negotiation principles apply across the board. Every person wants needs or desires something. How to get those things is more difficult for some than others and the difference between them is always the ability to negotiate.
Some people have more natural ability to negotiate or persuade and get what they want than others, but the bottom line is that anyone can learn the basic skills of negotiation and how to apply those principles to change their life, create a better future, get a job, win the love and affection of the object of their attention, build a business, make a sale or whatever the case might be.
Human beings are all the same when it comes to negotiation. It does not matter what race, culture or creed one is from. We all, as human beings, share the same wants, needs and desires and we all react to the same emotional stimulus that makes us come to decisions and conclusions whether good or bad.
Negotiation is based on these principles and when the fundamentals are mastered you can become a Ninja Negotiator the same as an individual who has mastered the art of any martial art sport, an actor’s part in a movie script or whatever it might be.
One thing always to remember in any negotiation, no matter how small or large the stakes, is a basic concept that I learned early on while gaining experience as a negotiator. I like to compare it with the concept of listening to a radio station on an FM frequency.
Music, news and entertainment have affects and effects generally on every person. Most everyone is interested in being informed and entertained so people listen to radio, watch television or read the newspaper or a magazine. We tune in to a particular media outlet or station because it is our favorite or because we know that one source provides us with all the needs for obtaining the news, entertainment or music we want.
Radio is a huge influence and people have their favorite station to tune in to and make that station the one they listen to more than any other.In negotiations there is also a “station”, if you will, that every person tunes in to everyday of their lives. Every day when a person wakes up they tune in to this station and we, as human beings, listen to the same station every day. Its call letters are WIIFM. It is an FM frequency that we keep open and never get enough of listening to.
The WIIFM is an acronym for What’s In It For Me. Just think about that for a moment. WIIFM, what’s in it for me? Isn’t that the thing that’s in the back of your mind whenever you are negotiating or whenever someone is trying to convince or persuade you to do something, not do something or to buy something? Negotiations can be simple or complex, but the bottom line is always that station WIIFM is being broadcast loud and clear during the negotiating process. Those involved in the negotiation are consciously and unconsciously saying to themselves (What’s in it For Me?) each time the other side makes a move or countermove.
Just keeping this simple concept in mind and applying this one negotiation principle will take you a very long way in mastering negotiation skills and getting what you want. I have authored a book that covers this negotiating tactic in more detail. The title is How To Negotiate and Get What You Want.
You already have natural skills to negotiate. You were born with them. In fact, you were a much better negotiator when you were a small child than you likely are now. If you doubt that just think about this. Have you ever seen or observed how small children are masters at negotiating to get what they want? They haven’t been to school, they haven’t been exposed to studied tactics and techniques in how to get what you want.They don’t have a regimen that they follow that has been taught by a guru, but they are master negotiators.
They instinctively know how to read parents and anyone who they encounter and want something from. They are experts when it comes to calling forth the right emotion at the right time to persuade or dissuade the opponent and they are relentless when it comes to staying focused and on track to reach their goal.
They never get discouraged when they are told no. They will ask again and again as if they don’t even understand what the word no means. They will even wait and come back from a different angle and ask again. Their attitude is always one of expectancy of getting what they want so their body language is congruent with their expectations. You can see it in their little eyes, their expression and a smile. Are you getting the clue here?
They will wear you down over a period of time and usually the parent or adult will give in not realizing that the child knew all along that if he or she just kept going toward the goal of what was wanted eventually they would get it.
God gives children natural abilities to negotiate and they use it without fear of hearing no because they know that a no response is likely just temporary. They will be tenacious and have a mindset of expectation of success with a dogged determination. More often that not children get what they want because they just naturally know how to negotiate.
Somewhere along the way as human beings grow up these natural traits are subdued and pushed deep inside us to the point where we forget them and fear and doubt creeps in and takes the average adult hostage. We lose the ability to negotiate as skillfully as with the ability we were born with.
How To Negotiate and Get What You Want is designed to assist in the rebirth of those natural skills we were born with and provides a road map to hone and sharpen those skills so you can be confident when negotiating for whatever it is you might be involved in. Applying the strategies, tactics and techniques in this book will help you become a ninja negotiator.